He wont even notice...

This morning after breakfast Justin sat on Drew's favorite toy gun and broke it.  From the picture you can tell it's pretty hard to miss and I find it odd that Justin didn't see it first and I feel like this fact further illustrates my point in this post.  But back to the gun.  His grandparents have bought this gun for Drew at least twice that I know of but it really feels like he is on his third.  He loves it.  So this morning,  I hear the loud crack of the barrel breaking off followed by "Shit." And he sounds worried.  So I go investigate because usually the crack of a toy being broke is followed by a "don't leave your toys out" talk with Drew.  So I knew it had to be bad, and it was.  Fortunately it was a clean break so I told Justin I had some Gorilla Glue in the shelves above my desk he could fix it with and then if he put it somewhere that Drew couldn't see that Drew never even had to know about it.  So when he goes upstairs, I assume this is what he is doing.  No.

This was Justin's idea of inconspicuous:

Yes.  That's a book balanced on top of it.  A big Fleetwood Mac coffee table book.

So instead of hiding the gun he does this balancing act with a book and then displays everything, front and center on my desk.  In the room that is right next door to Drew's.  But I know nothing of this until a little while later I ask him about it and then he tells me its on my desk.  Only I've been sitting at my desk and, unlike him, there is no way I wouldn't notice a giant green toy gun.  So we go check and sure enough, there was no book balanced precariously on a toy gun above my head, unbeknownst to me the entire time I was working.  So we ask Drew who right away says "I don't want to talk about it"  He seriously thinks that this is an answer for his parents.  I cannot even count the number of times he says that like we are just going to be ok with it.  I have even started making it clear that it is not an acceptable answer when I ask him stuff.  Like,  "I know you don't want to talk about this, but do you know where ALL my measuring cups are?"  We tell him he is not in trouble and Justin starts explaining what happened but all I can think about is that there is a gun loaded with Gorilla Glue somewhere in my house. And Gorilla Glue is no joke.  There are some things you can never take back and Gorilla Glue is one of them.  So Drew goes and gets the bottom half of the gun from his toy box and we get the top half which fell behind my desk when he tried to take it down.   The glue wasn't dry yet so Justin recreates his work of art because I didn't believe his whole balance-a-huge-book-on-a-tiny-gun-barrel story and because he had a point, the instructions on the glue do say to apply pressure.  So we left it that way to dry so I could get a picture of it, but can you imagine how confusing that was for Drew?  To see his toy gun like that?  He had to have been wondering (among other things) if he was the one that did it and just forgot about it.  Why else wouldn't he have asked us about it?  He just went and put the remaining half away.  It makes me feel bad to think about him trying to figure out just what the hell happened.  And its funny to me that Justin read the directions in the first place because its not usually his style but even funnier is that this is how he chose to interpret these instructions.  But I'm glad he did because finally I have the photographic evidence I need to prove that this is where Drew gets it from. His nickname is Shenanigans because he is always up to something.  His life is a three ring circus of his own making and I used to wonder if it was because he is an only child but for some time now I've known that it is a genetic trait inherited from his dad.  If we tell him to go brush his teeth he will, in fact, go brush his teeth, but he does it standing on the counter next to the sink.  If I tell him to put his shoes away I will later find them and every other pair he owns loaded into the back of his big dump truck and "parked" in the laundry room.  Its like as soon as the thought "I know what I can do with all these shoes" enters his head he is powerless to resist.   He is almost compulsive about adding that extra bit of mischief to everything he does.  Exactly like Justin.  Only difference is in a 5 year old its hilarious, in a husband it is maddening.